Compare Rose Blurred Glasses

Do you ever compare your window wiper speed to other drivers? We almost feel a sense of pride when our pace is slower than others, like we have super human sight that can see through anything.

This is an example of self-comparison. Self-comparison theory is when we determine our own social and personal worth based on others (tough one to figure out). Some see this as self-empowering, self-improving and self-motivating, but I see this as self-unsure. 

At times it’s impossible not to compare ourselves to others. We often compare our looks, income, intelligence, relationship status and success. Social media has really helped guide this. 

I recently read a blog post where the blogger unfollowed everyone on social media because she felt she was comparing herself to others too often. Her blog teaches how to increase a sense of community between bloggers. Nothing says community quite like having 40,000 followers, but following no one.

In Baby on the Brain, I bought a new shirt. Today, I wish I bought new eyes. 

One morning I was facilitating Gratitude Group designed for people with a progressive illness. My student accompanied me, which meant I needed to be on my best behaviour. It also meant, having a student is time consuming so I organized for the program quite last minute (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) and found a worksheet discussing the mind, body and soul. 

We were seated in a circle and began the program with some grounding deep breaths (and so I could collect my thoughts of how I was going to run the session). As I inhaled, the paper slipped from my lap and landed in the middle of the circle. I didn’t want to disrupt the group so I left the paper where it was. 

When I squinted at the sheet, I read a blurry ‘self-comparison’.  So I began the program with open discussion regarding how self-comparison can be harmful as well as positive. 

The flow of the program seemed off and I felt like I was scrambling for words throughout the program, which is never like me. 

At the end of the program, I wasn’t feeling grateful for how the session played out. 

When the resident left, I stood up and finally collected the worksheet from the floor. In large print the title read, self-compassion not self-comparison. Self compassion lines up beautifully with gratitude – no wonder I chose it…

At least I’m already prepared for next week’s topic and compared to today’s session, it should be a hit.